The last year has been very challenging with the entire world facing uncertainty in various aspects. This uncertainty has created a huge surge in the need for people to engage in more fulling activities and pursue a balanced lifestyle. In essence, making the most of time left on earth as there are constant reminders everywhere that tomorrow is not promised.

For most, day to day life is very much consumed with working, building a home and raising kids, leaving limited room for other things in-between without being stretched.

I often hear the saying “you create time for what you really want”, whilst this is true………………sometimes you have to be realistic – which doesn’t mean impossible.

Society (which is heavily governed by culture, religion and politics) has been set up in such a way that assumes everything is a straight-line and attempts to shoehorn “the majority” into similar ways of thinking and living but without real transparency that experiences will vary depending on the set up of your immediate surroundings and access to vital resources.

Now just imagine if your circumstances were different and you were in a position where you could do anything you wanted (if not already) – what would you do, “what do you want?”. A question I could easily answer years back…………but recently keeps popping up and I sometimes struggle to articulate or define an answer!

As I write, I think back to the many ideas I’ve had over the years of things I’d like to do or learn but the reality at the time was, I either didn’t have the capacity to or I was fearful to pursue in case my direction didn’t follow the so called “straight-line” which then ultimately developed into fears.

For some time now I’ve been focused on doing some internal and personal development work, which has taken me on a journey to realise that I have to unlearn some of the beliefs I grew up with, rewrite the stories I have been told about myself and really scrutinise the expectations that society has defined for me to truly answer this question.

Though I have a view of what my answer is (for now), I have had to kept the following in mind to assist me:

• What I enjoy and naturally drawn to – working through this has helped, however I am careful to not be so much in the moment that I don’t plan beyond it. Yes, I enjoy it now but is this just a phase, what is my capacity to move on, what will be transferable should I wish to are also some questions to ask.

• Social comparison/ judgement/ pressure from others and myself – is this where I should be, your peers are further along; you must catch up, your success should reflect in your title and how you live! With so much information readily available along with the influence of social media, these triggers can’t be avoided. Though I’ve never been a “follow the crowd or trend” type of person, I’m not exempt as I am human. What I can control is how I allow them to make me feel and my response.

• Not to cancel out, but appreciate my journey to date – my previous answers have taken me to where I am today but when I look back, there are certain situations where if I was there now, my choices, responses and decisions would be different. At times it may seem easier to erase and just start again, but one can always try to leverage on their experiences regardless of the next route.

You may be thinking, “why is she asking herself this question?”……………….. surely, she should know!

Well, I feel there has always been this notion that once you’ve decided “this is what I want”, you must stick to it until you make your exit out of this world. But in fact, what we want is always changing, usually as a sign of growth…………….what I wanted last year or even last month may be different to what I want at this precise moment and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

We evolve daily and with that comes learning. If you choose to apply the knowledge and skill accumulated during this process, what you want will always be within your reach. When you ask yourself this essential question every so often, you allow yourself to be in tune with where you are, where you are going and you learn to identify how you can be and live in the ways that feel most aligned to your answers.

Now I am not in any way suggesting that your circumstances need to change for you to ask yourself this question but imagining it is will likely allow your mind to wander and maybe even take action.

I hope this post inspires you to ask yourself “what do I want?”. Whatever your answer, feel free to comment below.

My journey continues ………………………… to unlearn, rewrite and keep questioning the status quo.